Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year's Neverlutions...

How many of you make New Year’s resolutions?  (Oh, Happy Monday, btw!!!)  Do you keep them?  If so, BRAVO!!  *stands up and claps a lot*  Because I NEVER do.  Sure, my intentions on Jan. 1st every year are good.  I think about it, what it is I want to accomplish in the New Year.  But, then I wake up on Jan. 2nd and sadly, it’s business as usual at the Q.O.P’s house.
If you Google it, you can find lists of the most popular resolutions people make – I know you’ve heard them before, but here’s a quick recap of the top ten:

Lose weight/Be more fit
Stop smoking
Drink Less Alcohol
Find a better job
Save money
Take a trip (really??? People have to make this a resolution to do it? That’s sad, really.)
Get a better education
Volunteer to help others
Find a soul mate
Manage debt

(Note: these were listed at random, prioritize as you please, please)

I’ll tell you right now that “Lose weight/Be more fit” is the one I usually go with. (it’s a girl thing…) So, when Jan. 1st rolls around and I can still roll with it?  Well....

So this year, to avoid the guilt on 1/1/2012 - I give you this:  My list of New Year’s Neverlutions!! Here’s a few things I have ABSOLUTELY no intention of doing this year and why:

1 – Lose weight:  Ummm….why? Food is yummy!! Especially my favorite foods. The Lay’s motto – “betcha can’t eat just one”? Yeah, that applies to all the yummy food groups in my opinion! Dieting is for the birds…and maybe pretty people. And as I can’t fly and, let’s face it, will never be a model – I say to heck with losing weight! I’ve got a belly and I’m proud of it! Seriously now – it shakes when I’m jolly. You know what that means, right? I can keep that Christmas spirit near and dear ALL year long! You betcha! And when I sit with a snack – my belly doubles as a coaster, maybe a small plate. Less dishes to do = awesome! What else? Ummm – built in bib! Heck ya! Easier to clean a shirt than the carpet, am I right? It’s also a ready-to-go costume for Star Wars conventions – give me a sports bra and a marker and voila! Jabba jr. And how about a “personal space” guard – so, no personal-bubble-popper people to worry about. It’s a pillow for my daughter or my husband. It’s really just a friend that is always with you. So let’s give it up for belly chub! And NO DIETING is the ticket to some of your very own! (yeah, keep telling yourself this, Donea!)


And hey - having a belly worked out for this fine fellow.  Think about it...

2 – Quit smoking: As a non-smoker, I can honestly say that this is a resolution I have absolutely no intentions of keeping.

3– Find a better job: In this economy?  You're joking, right?  I'm good where I'm at (for the moment), but thanks.

4 – Manage debt: No way! If I do this, I’ll have no fun at all this year! (And I’m going to a writing conference this year if it kills me/my cc!!)

5 – Find a soul mate: I better steer clear of this one. It might make my husband upset…

It’s a modest list, but I’m pretty sure I will not do any of these things in 2011 – so I’m feeling pretty good about it. :)  But, if…you know…on the off-chance one of these things is accomplished… (#1 – I’m staring at you here!!!) it will just be a bonus!

Rest assured, however, that my writing goals for 2011 have a “reso” rather than a “never” on the “lutions” front. And for those goal-oriented types, I wish you all the best of luck with your resolutions this year – really, I do! But…IS there anything you plan to never, ever do this year? Just curious. :)

9 comments:

Tracy Z. said...

I'm staring at number one as well ... from afar. I keep telling myself if I don't expect to lose weight and then I do, it's a better surprise.

HAHA

Good luck with your neverlutions as well as your writing resolutions!

Danette said...

I don't make resolutions either although I need to take off the weight I put on during the holidays in order to have my pants fit right (not a New Year's thing as much as a necessity thing). Other than that? It's all about the writing and I don't make WPD writing goals either I just want to get some submissions out there...

aspiring_x said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHHAAAAA!!!!!!
loved this SO MUCH!
built in bib!!!!!
pillow!!!
you rock! :)
here's to neverlutions! cheers!

Colene Murphy said...

HA! Love it!!
(OMG! You just reminded me about the conference! I totally forgot in all the hubbub!!)
Good luck on your Neverlutions! heehee

LeishaMaw said...

I'm with you on the resolving to go on a vacation. What's up with that? I have to resolve to get to work. He he.

Lydia K said...

This is so funny! Neverlutions. Let me see...I will not cut down on drinking. I need my water. Ha ha!

Jen Daiker said...

Bahaha you crack me up... "My husband might get upset,"

I'm all about just taking the small changes, trying to be less stressed, working hard, blog love and more. Small steps to big success!!!

I've already accomplished a lot this year, I've gotten back to blogging which is huge! I've missed it!

alexia said...

LOL! The soul mate part cracks me up... oh, you should come to WFC with me - our credit cards can suffer together!

Shayda Bakhshi said...

I think we should all resolve to never quit being awesome.

Because we are all clearly awesome. :)