Oh, Gerard....

Ahhh....I decided that I just had to put Gerard in my blog. Actually, he prefers "Gerry", but that's too common and fuddy-duddy sounding to me. I picked an older picture - because this is how I prefer him, a little scruff and his longer hair w/natural curl. Yum. My obsession is really quite subdued and understated, though. I generally only obsess in my head. No, girls and boys - I am not a member of his fan club. I don't have posters of him on my ceiling or small pics tacked to the inside of the visor in my car. Nothing in my wallet either. However, on those occasions when I do catch a glimpse of this magnificent specimen...I have to ooh and ahh and share and melt a little. Again, yum.

Ode to Grandpa...

My grandfather passed away recently...and I was inspired to write this for him. Had to share...

Grandpa

There was always something about his voice
The tone of it
The way he’d say “hello sweetheart”
That had the slick, smooth tenor
Of old Hollywood - the lost rat pack-er
The suave California boy with the sly smile

That voice never changed
Even close to the end
Comforting

It somehow never made Grandpa seem old

But somehow the body grows old
Despite the mind or the spirit
Or the smooth resonance of a familiar voice

You remember other things
A different Jack and Bobby
Kennedy, no relation
How you get Jack from Dwight Edward
I never quite knew
A cook
His bread and his chili
His mind
His memory for details
His war stories,
His matter-of-fact way
A hobby
Bowling
A home
Cali,
Nampa,
Vegas
A preference for blondes
One in particular.

More than a voice
Even if that’s how I remember.

Goodbye Grandpa Jack.So long, farewell, and my love always.

Beautiful Girl...

I was late to work today because I had to help Alex with her hair. Picture day!!! I braided it last night so that it would come out all curly/crimpy today. It might have been a tad TOO crimpy/poofy - but I think the overall affect was too cute! What do you think? (If you hate it, I'm adding the disclaimer that "hair" has never been my thing and Alex has been doing her own for years...but, I digress) However, when I got home - Alex informed me that these pics were the ones they try to get you to buy a million of for no reason whatsoever (except to have cute pics of your child) and not the year book picture. She was bummed. She wanted the "outfit" in the year book and says she can't wear it twice for picture days. (this is me rolling my eyes) I told her no body would remember in a few months...

Obviously I have nothing better to do today....

Here I am again, just once more before I go to bed. I just thought I'd share... www.dreammoods.com So, I don't know how reliable this site is - there were several typos in their descrips and menu options and that always just screams "unprofessional" to me...(English nerd...) BUT - it had some interesting information about dreams. Recurring dreams, of course, are supposed to be your subconcious trying to bring your waking mind to problems in your life that you need to figure out and face. The theme is often unchanging and they are supposed to be more nightmarish than anything else. Which made me think of this other bizzaro dream I have that involves a roller coaster and me running away from someone who is trying to kill me... I'll analyze that one later....

So - this "secret room" recurring dream isn't really nightmarish. I didn't find anything that specifically talked about secret rooms - but I did find something that talked about secret passageways and childhood homes in dreams and on the whole, these dreams are usually positive. Here is the info on secret passageways, which works the best I think:

To discover secret passageways in your dream, parallels to something new and/or exciting that is occurring in your waking life. It may refer to new opportunities, a new relationship, or a new attitude toward life. If you wake up before fully exploring these passageways, then it suggests that you may not know how to go about taking advantage of these opportunities or how to move forward with a relationship. Perhaps the newness and uncertainty of this discovery also makes you a little more cautious. This is a positive dream.

I also looked at "rats" and that signifies feelings of doubt, guilt and/or envy. Also unworthy thoughts I might be having that I'm keeping to myself, but that are eating me up inside. This one actually made a bit of sense to me...I'm a rather private person, the person who knew all my dirty little secrets was my mom and she took it all to the grave. I don't know that there is a living person that knows everything that goes on in my head...the good or the bad. It's kind of sad really. Also, the fact that I have always been FAR TOO self-concious and hide pieces of myself for fear the world will think I'm a total FREAK...well, it all lends. On a more literal interpretation, it's just funny that Tyler was the keeper of the rats. I could continue with that line of thought...but I won't.

Suppose I better call it a night. Just downloaded a bunch of pics of my camera FINALLY... I've got stuff on there from 2 or 3 years ago! I think I may post some pics from NY and VA. Watch for them! Good night...

Recurring Dream

Ok - (wow - 2 in one day, a record...) Now that I've got the blogging bug back (for the day at least) I needed to write about this completely bizarre dream I had last night. I was in my old house, the one on Nordin that I grew up in. However, I was there as I am now, married to Tyler - although Alex was curiously no where to be found... Anywho! I don't remember the whole thing (of course, you never do) but it had something to do with Tyler getting on my case about these large rats that were in the pantry. I claimed that we couldn't possibly have rats in the house, so he told me to take a look. I got on the floor and looked under the crack of the pantry door and saw a HUGE rat in a trap. So, Tyler then proceeded to put this green film on the table and used an exacto knife to cut out a square piece. He kind of winced, because he gave himself a cut and the cut touched the green stuff which was doused with some kind of poison apparently. He basically said, "ow" and kept cutting. Then he took out this metal box and opened it. Then he went to the pantry and opened the door, picked up the rat (which was ginormous, btw) and folded it up in the green film stuff and put it in the box. He told me that we had a ton of them and that the rat was only "dead" asleep. I followed him outside to my car, where he opened the trunk and there were a bunch of those little metal boxes in there. I don't quite know what happened at that point. I think I might have woken up briefly and thought I heard scampering in the ceiling. (NO! I don't really have rats...)

That's just the weird part. The recurring part is this... the dream sort of bled into another dream (same house, I think) that we were either looking to buy or looking to sell. It had this amazing secret room that you got through from somewhere in a closet or maybe it was the garage. Anyhow - it was HUGE and decked out like some primo bachelor pad, big open spaces, pool tables, leather sectional, freak lighting, HUGE! I mentioned that already. The thing is, for years I've had dreams about houses that have some secret room that I never knew about. I always know the house very well, it's often one that I've lived in...or at least part of it is similar to a house I lived in, and it always has some new secret, and larger-than-you-think-should-fit room that I just happen to stumble upon one day. Once it was like a crazy, green house type room. Sometimes, it's just a room to lounge in - some secret hide away. This new bachelor pad one was kind of crazy. It had just been awhile since I'd had a dream with a secret room and well... it was weird. Just made me kind of wonder..."huh?" And what could it possibly mean? I may do a little net research...I'll let you know what I find out.

1 year later - lol!

Ok - so I'm even over the 1 year mark, ha! I know myself so well. The Queen of Procrastination - I think that's what I need to change my blog name to. Anyhow - wow. For a so-called "writer" I still feel like I have nothing interesting to write about. Even after a year. An old friend send me a blog link for a family member and it was a lot of fun to read. Lots of fun pics. "Prolific" he said. He was right. I pale sadly in comparison. I took a look at Karen's blog - a new one with only 2 entries and they, also, are much more fun than mine. Of course, Karen is amazingly clever and witty. She should be the writer.

Ok - let's see. What has a year in my life brought me? No fame or fortune yet. Reconnected with a few old friends - that's always a great thing to do. One was a friend from Jr. High that I hadn't seen or talked to in 20 years! Hello, Sarah :) She still has family in UT, so Jen and I met her for lunch a month or so ago. It was fun to reconnect. Sounds like she'll be in town again around the Christmas holiday, so I'll have a chance to see her again. We also have an open invite to VA - which is where she lives. I actually took a trip to Williamsburg, VA this summer with Alex and my niece Ashley. We had a lot of fun - 3 girls on our own. It's beautiful back there. We stayed at the Marriot Manor Club - a wonderful little resort for families. I would totally go back. I took the girls to Busch Gardens Europe, Water Country USA, Virginia Beach, Colonial Williamsburg, and Washington DC. It was a FULL trip - lots to do every single day - but well worth it. It was a trade out on our time share. I'm still deciding on where I'd like to trade to next (Europe, always...but, we'll have to wait on that). This next year, I'm looking for something we can drive to. Half my budget went to plane tickets last time. Fame and fortune find me soon! That, or I could dump Ty and find me a sugar daddy. :P Just kidding...kind of.

No, I've more or less reconciled myself to the fact that fortunate futures will be mine to achieve alone. Maybe luck will smile down on me sometime soon. I do have a new book in the works - I'd share the title, but I'm completely paranoid. So far (or as far as google and amazon check out) there are no books anywhere with this title. So, I'll keep it to myself for the moment.

I have more to write - I'm sure. I'd love to post some pics, too. I'll work on it. No, really. Til then...